


You don't have to be afraid anymore

by DireWolf33



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), Stannis Baratheon/Jon Snow - Fandom
Genre: Comfort/Angst, M/M, Male Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-19 22:51:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2405846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DireWolf33/pseuds/DireWolf33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And as Stannis mouth closed in on his own Jon knew that this kiss was different, different than all the other kisses the two had shared these past few months. Jon couldn't help but think that maybe Ghost wasn't the only thing that Jon had left to live for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You don't have to be afraid anymore

####  You don't have to be afraid anymore

 

       Jon had not meant to fall asleep before leaving Stannis' chambers in the morning. It was now routine for him to leave before he even had the chance to think about staying. It wasn't that he did not feel invited to stay. No.. whatever he and Stannis had been doing the past few months had grown into a comfort neither man could deny. It may have started as a desperation to fulfill the loneliness each men experienced every night, but it had became a comfort neither wanted to lose. It was something to great for either man to comprehend. So much so that it was better to be ignored all together.

       The real problem with staying, however, were the nightmares. The nightmares that came every night since the news regarding the death of his mother had been delivered to him. It was always the same dream. He would be somewhere north of the wall, somewhere covered in snow and ice and death. There would be nothing around him at first. No wildlings, no Others. Ghost would be near him, prowling around the perimeter. Ghost, the only family he had left. Then it would come. Jon assumes it is a white walker although it looks like none he has ever seen. It is tall, taller than the Giants he had faced at the wall. It was porcelain white, with skin so shallow it was practically see-through. Its eyes were red and its fingers were made of long, human like bones. Ghost would growl at the thing but it was useless. The creature would grasp Ghost by the scruff of his neck and draw his sword before Jon could even shout. Ghosts head would make this snapping sound that would haunt Jon every single day after he awoke. Then, as Ghosts dead eyes face Jon's face one last time, he is reminded that he failed once more to protect his family. Then the creature would turn to face him and its face would change. It was his father first, and the creature would start to stalk towards him. Than the face was his brother and Jon couldn't breath. Than it was his mother, and Jon would fall to his knees. Then the face would turn to Arya, and the creature would be on him, his death grip on Jon's throat, coldness spreading down his neck and numbing him. He would start to try and fight off the walker and then he would wake up with his hands curled into fists and tears in the corner of his eyes. He would feel even lonelier than when Ygritte had passed. How could he lose Ghost - the only thing that he had left of his old life. The only thing left that he loved.

      This time when he woke up, however, his hands were heavier. In fact, his hands were being held down as Jon tried to fight off the creature. His eyes snapped open and Stannis was staring at him. There were no facial expressions to show concern nor annoyance, just a stare as the man knelt next to Jon, his hands holding down Jon's wrists by his sides. Jon felt heat start to touch his cheeks. This was a side of him he was not yet ready to show. A weakness that Stannis did not need to see. Stannis let go of Jon's hands as he started to sit up, the sheets wrapped around him in a way that made it seem like Jon had put up a fight. It was still dark in the room as Jon rubbed at his face, his breath still ragged. Stannis was still kneeling beside him, his chest bare and only clothed in his breeches that were loose around his waist.

" _I'm sorry_ ," Jon mumbled, his hands still covering his face.

" You are sorry for what?" Stannis' voice sounded harsh in the quiet of his room.  "Having a nightmare or nearly striking your King in the face?"

    When Jon didn't reply he felt Stannis' rough hand come down to rest on his knee. Jon couldn't help but look up at the man who had been inside of Jon just hours before. His breath warm and panting, breathing down his neck as his hands wandered all over Jon's body. His lips leaving warning bites whenever Jon got too loud. His mouth covering Jons own when he released into Jon, stifling the moans that could ruin them both. The man had been around Jon so tight these past nights that at some point even Ghost had stopped caring when Stannis would grab Jon roughly and push him against the wall, his lips bruising his own in a claiming kiss.

 " _How long?_ " His kings voice brought him out of his thoughts.

" Every night," Jon answered softly, " Every night since.." He stopped as another wave of emotion washed over him and he clenched his hands again. He didn't need to finish. Stannis was there after all when that raven had came. 

_ " I'll see you soon again, right Jon?" Brans voice echoed through his head, his little brothers wide innocent eyes staring up at him.  He was so young. So full of trust and understanding that no other Stark had been able to give.  _

_"_ Snow!" Jon's eyes snapped open as Stannis grabbed hold of his wrists again. " It _wasn't_ your fault."

And Jon hears something in Stannis' voice that is new. A would be order that came out sounding worried, wrapped in concern. It gives Jon the strength to look Stannis in the eyes.

" It _was_ my fault. I _chose_ to leave them. I could have protected them. Bran..I could have-" And without warning he finally broke and lurched forward, his body betraying him as he sought comfort. 

His head crashed down on Stannis chest, his hands grabbing the older man's arms so tight that he thought he would be pushed away in an instant. This was not how his king was supposed to see him. He felt arms wrap around his body and he waited for the pushing, for the disgust. But instead all he got was Stannis pulling the man closer, a hand coming up to tangle in the dark, unruly hair on top of Jon's head. Stannis didn't say anything and Jon wasn't expectant. He didn't know how long he stayed in Stannis' arms, his tears running down his face and landing on his King's bare skin. Bare skin that Jon had kissed and sucked and marked. He felt overwhelmed at the comfort he felt right now. The warmth that Stannis' body was giving him, the way the hand in his hair felt as it tangled in Jon's curls.

" _I'm sorry_ ," He mumbled again into his Kings chest. 

When he felt gentle pulling at the back of his neck he gently lifted off the man's chest and stared up into his kings dark brown eyes, eyes that revealed nothing and bared no emotion. 

" You don't need to apologize, Snow." And Jon's breath caught in his throat as Stannis hand came to curl around Jon's cheek. He sighed comfortably as Stannis' thumb ran down his cheek, stopping at his mouth and gently brushing over his lips. As he leaned forward he whispered against Jon's skin. " You don't have to be afraid anymore." 

And as Stannis mouth closed in on his own Jon knew that this kiss was different, different than all the other kisses the two had shared these past few months. Jon couldn't help but think that maybe Ghost wasn't the only thing that Jon had left to live for.


End file.
